0:01 And now, The Shaping Truth Podcast with Jim Scalfani. All right, so what were we talking about? Talking about, oh yeah, the question I asked. I'm asking you a question that I'm afraid you would, I don't know, react differently or something. Yeah. No, never existed. There was nothing I don't know about you. I know every nook and cranny, everything of that.0:31 I would never worry about. All right. You ready? Yeah. If tomorrow we had to switch lives for a week, me doing your creative work and you running my world, what would you be totally terrified of doing? And what would you secretly enjoy? Leave the gay thing, the gay stuff out. Wait.01:00 I'd even go there. I'm thinking about calling you right away for help. On what? On work. I'd be sitting in your office going, I don't know how to design crap. I don't design. That's not what I do. Well, whatever you do, depending on where you're working. Yeah. You've done both. Yeah. I mean, I do now. You've done design. But Jack, you would. You would totally. You would. You're like, what are we working on? And they're like, a sofa. And you'd be like, okay.01:30 All right, make sure there's a cushion. That would be me. I wouldn't care about color. I wouldn't care about shape. If you can hold my butt, that's it. Jack, are you saying that you wouldn't care about the color of your sofa? It could be purple. I don't know if they make purple furniture. They do. But would you want purple? I'd go natural. That's all. So what color is that? Black, gray.01:59 Black? You do black? Well, black isn't natural. Brown is. Tan is. Gray's a little crossing over. Gray's not considered natural, but that's okay. Right, that's what I'm saying. But you do gray? Dark gray? Oh, we have dark gray right now. Oh no, we have light gray. Medium kind of. I'm just trying to be real. We have dark. We have light.02:28 All right, our couches look like your back wall. On camera. I don't know what it looks like in real life. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. All right. I couldn't do anything in your world. I could only feed the dogs. That would be it. We were talking about earlier, we were talking about managing people, and I was thinking...02:58 Oh, I can manage people. I don't have a problem with that. But we were talking about temper. You know, I don't know if my temper would flare as bad at a job site. Right. There's your job mode. Yeah. A whole other person comes out when it's job mode. If I'm training somebody for YouTube, I'm never... You're not.03:28 lost my job. That's not who you are. No. I think people see you. How do you think people see you? Hmm. Uh, that's different. Cause you put different hats. It depends because it's one way or the other. How do you think people, your audience sees you? It depends. Okay. My audience sees me as, um, very loving and caring and,03:58 Always careful, you know, about what's going on, what's being said, what's being talked about. Yeah. That people don't get hurt, that people are safe. The other half doesn't care for me that much. Okay. How do you think they see you? How do you think the people that don't care for you see you? Fake.04:27 Fake. Fake. What I mean by that is, a lot of people, I've told people time and time again, don't call me chef. Okay? People will be polite and they'll say chef. And I'm like, no, I'm a home cook. I don't deserve the title. You know? I keep telling them I'm not as good. If people say, I'm just a regular dude. So, half04:57 think that i'm a phony i'm trying to be something i'm not well how you don't let what you don't come across as someone who's uppity or it has nothing to do with that it has to do with what okay this guy can't cook he's got half a million people to watch him you don't deserve the show he's gonna kill his family they're just real hateful i'm going i'm trying to figure out how they still see that as being fake they can say i don't like his cooking but how is that fake05:28 Because I'm pretending everything's good. I'm pretending the food tastes great. I'm pretending... Well, that's just a liar. But if that's a lie, I don't see you as... That's what they think. They don't believe me as being truthful. Oh, that's different than fake. Right? For example, oh, you stole that. Oh, AI did that for you. Oh, you know, they're always questioning everything I do. And I get that. I get that. But that's still not being fake.05:59 Fake is someone who pretended. You're right. Do they see you as fake? I don't know. I don't know if fake is dishonest. I mean, it is. Yes, fake is dishonest, but that doesn't mean that's what you are. Even if you were lying, that doesn't mean you're fake. Okay, let me give you an example. I offered to buy...06:25 Somebody gave me a good idea for the show. Oh, great. So I said, you know what? Pick any show shirt you want, show shirt, and I'll mail it to you. Yeah. As a thank you. Yeah, that's fun. I did that live on the show. Yeah, that's nice. When he got the shirt, he thought, wow, I didn't think you'd really do it. People. Yeah, but I know that's who you are. I mean it. Yeah, I get that. I may be wrong, but I mean it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.06:53 They don't think I mean it. Does that make sense? Yeah, but do you think that's because of you or because they think people in general? People in general. They don't know me. Right. So fake is not real. Do they use the word fake? No, no. Okay. All right. But they accuse me all the time of not whatever.07:20 And I would probably challenge that, that they're not accusing you. They're just asking you to prove that you're still who you are. Right? Because if they thought you were... They check your realism all the time. I know, but I think they're doing that for them.07:46 Oh, yeah, I know they are. Yeah. Okay, not for you. I didn't say it bothered me. I got used to it. Okay. All right. But I know it's because they've been lied to so much. Yeah, yeah. So how do you think people see you? Because if they think you're lying, you proved them wrong. So that's not good. So how do you think they see you? You said either...08:11 When they honestly really get to know me, like some viewers, we've become good friends. Yeah. They realize I'm just a regular guy. I'm a nice guy. I would never hurt anybody. You know, other things become realized. I think you could get mad enough where you would actually not hurt someone.08:39 I think you could probably put someone in their place, though. Well, let me tell you what just happened. So there was a guy. We were friends. I made him one of my moderators on the live show on Facebook. He had communication with me, phone call, whatever. It was a little bit closer than a regular viewer. Okay.09:07 And the one thing he would always do, though, I don't know why. Let's say you posted about the car wash. You went to the car wash. You had a great time. He would immediately post, oh, I bet that he would challenge you by whatever you wrote. This show was great. He'd tell you why it wasn't. This car is the best. He'd tell you why it's not.09:35 I put up a picture. He'd go, oh, that's AI. You know, he was always challenging, right? And I privately spoke with him about it. I said, look, I said, you challenge 100% of what I post. And what did he say? Go back and look, I told him.09:57 No, no, I know. What did he say? Did he believe you? Oh, no, no. Well, we're just having a conversation. It's just normal talk and all that. I mean, it was a bunch of excuses. I'm like, dude, stop it. He did it again. I blocked him off everything. He no longer can watch my show, talk with me on any platform. But there was a red flag in there for you. For me?10:23 Yeah, the guy challenged. Friends don't do that. A good friend doesn't do that. I challenge you all the time. Wait, not publicly. My rule on my social media is if you correct me publicly, you're trying to hurt me. If you write me through Messenger privately and go, hey, Jack, you said this, this isn't right.10:47 Why is that bad? Because they're trying to embarrass you in front of their audience. Does that embarrass you when someone says that's not when they give you a correction? It doesn't embarrass me, but it's like belittling me. It's disrespecting me. You feel disrespected? Yeah. I expect you to write me privately because you can't.11:15 Why would you do it in front of everybody? Let's say I spelled something wrong. You would probably get on the phone and go, hey, Jack. Or you would text me. Because I think it would feel weird if your brother did that. You know what I mean? And spelled that wrong. No. Other people write me privately to correct me. I'm always open for correction. You know what? I emailed a11:45 someone that I listened to something that it was like a, something that he did. He wouldn't let the, he was interviewing someone and he didn't let the other person finish. I was like, you know, you really interrupt. And I didn't take it as a disrespect thing. I didn't. Once again, wait a minute, posting it online in front of 40,000 people and writing me privately directly. I didn't, I posted it.12:15 Right. Don't post it. Write them directly. If you're correcting somebody, do not correct them in front of everybody. But everybody does that. It's like correcting your wife in front of company. But it's different because you have a relationship with your wife. It's always more personal. No, it's not. It's not different. If you're my true friend, you're not going to try and embarrass me. But you're saying you don't even get embarrassed by that.12:43 Wait, I don't anymore. But the reason you did it publicly, when you could have simply clicked the button right next to it and privately brought me? Art, I hear you. But they know that's my rule. I've talked about it many times over the years. I'm not saying that it should be a rule. I'm just saying I don't know that it's something that people would even...13:11 You know, because, I mean, I don't know that people would kind of say, hey, you know, that's a thing. You know, I don't know. Let's give an example. Let's say you're having a conversation with Erica. Okay. Okay. And she says something that you're not so comfortable with. Okay. You thought that was kind of rude. Right. If you said it during the interview, you know, I think that's kind of rude.13:38 You wouldn't do that. You would wait until you get off the interview. You would talk to her privately. I would. That's the difference. Because I have a relationship with her. No. He had a relationship with me. We were friends. That's the difference. If you write it publicly, you're trying to hurt me. If you write it privately, you care. Let me think about that. I guess it would feel weird if someone that I had a relationship with did that. Yeah.14:09 And corrected you in public? Just like a kid yelling at you in a restaurant. But corrected me or challenged me. Are those different? No. I mean, usually the challenge is a correction. For example, I posted electric vehicles are not a good investment. This was years ago.14:37 But I challenged everybody, I go, look, it's still way too expensive, battery replacement, car repairs, it's still not a logical investment. That's what I said in the beginning, okay? He literally wrote why EVs are good. Yeah, I don't know that that would be... Okay, let me give you another example. Well, I mean, doesn't it make the conversation...15:07 I mean, I get... It wasn't a conversation. I didn't ask anybody's opinion. If I ask an opinion, I end it with a question mark. I don't know. I don't know that I would... Why do you think I wouldn't take it as a disrespect? Because you don't have 10,000 people following you. But you think if there were 10,000 people listening...15:38 that I would care that someone did that? You think I would? Me? I don't know. You would have to have walked my path and realized. But it's real simple. I mean, you could do it in a conversation. What? You could do it in a conversation. Even here, you could do it in a conversation. Okay, so let me ask you a question. If... If...16:07 trying to say why would he write it publicly why would he not talk to me privately well why what is the one reason he posted a challenge to me i think i think i'm just using me why i would do it first of all if you're my friend i would i would be like dude you know but16:32 I probably would word it in a way to where it wasn't so confrontational. No, straight up. No, I know. I know. I know because I'm, I'm getting there because I have to kind of say, but if I didn't and I wrote it like, no, you're wrong. That would feel like a, if we were friends. Right. But if,16:54 why would i do that i think because i posted you would have posted any anything if we were friends no i know probably called me i i would have but let's say i'm saying let's say we're not right and i'm just you're just a you know a youtuber guy and um i wrote now i would i god i may have even done that i would probably like no because you said in front of everybody17:21 You've said it in front of everybody. I want to at least rebut it in front of everybody. Why? So that we can have an open conversation or you can go, oh. Why do you care about everybody? Because I want people to do more. I want people to buy EVs. I want people to adopt it more. It's better for the buyer. Then you post about it, buying EVs. Why do you got to post it in my audience? Well, because I would think that I was worried about you giving out incorrect information.17:54 It was an opinion. But if I'm giving an opinion, but if I'm giving you, you know, facts and, you know, let's say, you know, it's facts. It'd be different if I could, even if it was opinion, if I'd said, Oh, I hear you. I would, I don't agree. I think it really is a good thing. But the moment you rebut anything about EVs, I would know you're an electric vehicle owner. Of course I'm electric vehicle, but why is that? I can almost guarantee he is.18:21 So what? That doesn't change whether it's seen as disrespect or not, right? No, no, no. It's just an observation. Okay. But it wouldn't be done out of disrespect, Jack, even if I did that. It might just be stupid. I'm just stupid because I would totally do that to someone, not you. How about me writing, hey, Jim, I'll write something personal about you. Okay? Wait, publicly.18:51 i know but we're friends you're saying you're like what's the difference though private public because it's private because it has more impact right it doesn't have more impact you it has more impact against you always okay so think about it 100 is always against you okay so it has more impact because i'm a brother or a friend right19:12 So I would not do that. I would be much more aware of that. Right, right. He would always challenge publicly everything. But even before he was friends with you, he was like that. But I don't know that I haven't written someone who said, hey, dude, I don't agree. Like, X, Y, Z. Like, I don't know. I don't see that as being disrespectful. I'm not saying it's not. I'm saying I don't see it that way. Wait, wait.19:39 The difference is you just did it once. You did it once a year, twice a year, whatever. He did it 100% of my posts. I could talk about how beautiful the day is. He would come up with something against that it's raining somewhere else or it's flooding. What did you do with the post? Did you answer or did you take it down? Well, at first I just left it alone. I didn't answer it. Okay.20:08 after that i started taking him down then he would write me public privately hey why did you take down my my post okay stop right there okay dude now you're going out of your way i know i know stop right there for a second so do you think the do you think if he was trying to be disrespectful if he was like oh i'm getting really that he would reach out to you privately20:36 Do you think he would, if he was like, I don't like him and I want to show how stupid he is. If he was respectful, he would have wrote me privately the first time. I don't think, I don't know that I have that as a... If I talk to you about it, let's say I call and go, Jim, if you're going to correct me, please don't do it in front of my audience.21:00 Well, you can do it privately. I get that. You're my brother. I get that. You would never do it again. He did it again. I know, I know. But I want to say, if somebody does that, and you said, let's go down that road, and you asked him to, and he did it again. I mean, either, and then you... No, finish that. Either what? Well, I was going to say...21:30 if if he does that either he's stupid like he's either mental right i don't think he's stupid but go ahead or or or he's really trying to hurt you but but here's my question my question is why would he why would he go privately21:55 If he wants to do it, if this is a public thing, like someone that does that doesn't say, hey, why are you doing that? Like, they would be like, because at that point, he opens himself up to being confronted, right? I mean, he's like, dude, you're like being totally respect. I don't think he gets it is my point. No, I literally have spoken to him word for word. I understand that. I believe you do. And I believe you communicated clearly.22:24 I'm not saying the issue is on your side. I think it's on his side. Where you automatically said, oh, he's a regular guy. He's normal. He understands the social... Then he is stupid. That's my point, Jack. I don't think he is. I don't think he is. Well, then, what gain... Well, he must be stupid because...22:52 He knows you have all the control. You can take down his comments. He didn't want to lose you as a friend. You asked him, and he still didn't get it. Like, he still honestly didn't see that he was doing that, is my point. You know what the final straw was that he did? Well, I mean, that he did it publicly. No, it wasn't that. It wasn't confronting. Oh. Even though he always did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talked to him about that. Yeah. The final straw. You know I do videos every week called Food News. Yeah. Okay.23:21 I produce a video, put it up on YouTube. It's a part of my regular schedule. Yeah. Okay. And I would post it in my food group, okay, on Facebook. All right. He literally went to chat GPT, had it spit out a bunch of food news, titled food news at the top, and posted it in my group.23:44 I'm like, dude, you know I do food news. Why are you posting food news? Why don't you come up with your own channel? Stop right there for a second. You have every right to be upset. I totally get that. But if somebody does that, they're not all there, Jack. That's my point. So wait, Jack, if I said, hey, I'm going to be Jack Attack, you'd be like, what the fuck? What?24:10 I'm like, Hey, I'm like, and I get a hat on and I, you'd be like, and I start doing it like a white goatee. You'd be like, okay, Jack, that's called a red flag. Can you say red flag? Like, like the family, the fact that you, you see, if somebody does that to me, I go, look, don't confront me. Don't go up. You can't go. Hold on.24:32 You tell him everything and he's like, okay, look, I don't think I do that, but I get you. And then literally the next day he does it. I think he's stupid. Like I think he's really not all like he's missing social cues.24:47 right jack yeah i mean that's a unless he was like unless he's like oh i'm really gonna get jack now like like he has to be that guy he's that guy he's either that guy or he's really stupid he's one too he didn't even post it on his personal page he only posted it in my group okay my point is25:11 you're making my that's what sets me okay i know but once you know he's that guy and and he's like that was the last straw i know but i i wouldn't even get mad i'd be like oh you're that guy like why you didn't you know i've written that before but i know that guy on facebook like right like getting mad he25:35 He's not even going to get that because he's, was he like, why? I never do that. Are you kidding? I never, I wouldn't. He doesn't even see it. He didn't say that. It's so weird. You said that. Because my point is,25:50 after you like were friends and you seem to like get along and then you asked him to do something and then he literally came right and did exactly what you asked him not to. And then it was like, and then when in your, your private to go, Hey dude, why? What? Like, you're like,26:07 You don't even explain. Here's my thing. If you have to tell, it's an old thing. If you have to tell a woman in a white dress to step over the mud puddle, you've heard me say this, then when you do tell her, she's not going to get it. If you have to tell her, hey, you're in a wedding dress, don't step over the mud puddle, go around.26:25 If you have to tell her that, she's not going to get it. Because she's so far gone, right? If you have to tell someone that, and if you have to tell him, and then he didn't, it doesn't matter. He's just far gone. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But why? You know he's already touched. And then he goes to your private, like, hey, why did you do that? You're like, dude, like...26:50 He's already, like, right. He's already, like, I don't, I, but here's the part that I want to talk to you about. You got mad. You didn't go, huh, you're not well. Yeah, because I literally thought he was a smart person.27:09 That's what upset me. How about you use it? I literally told you don't. I know, but the logic of it, you even said, I literally told you. Anybody where you have to go, I literally just said that.27:24 There's socially something's not right about that particular setup. Okay, okay. All right, go to the next question. I don't want to run out of time. Does that make sense, though? Yeah, I get it. I totally get it. Yeah, I mean, he's not right. I gave him too much of the benefit of the doubt. Well, I don't think he gets it. I mean, I think he really doesn't get it. Now, you're right. I've spoken out to him. I can't go any other way. Wait, you did – the part that is interesting –27:54 is that you gave him more benefit of the doubt than you actually said, oh no, I'm clear, I was clear, you're not well, right? Where part of you challenges that it was an affront. Like you took- I know what you're saying. Part of me feels it's calculated.28:24 And the other part, where it probably wasn't calculated, he just didn't comprehend. Right. That's the part I was struggling to say. I was going to say, but no, what you said is way better. Because I was going to say, you take on part of that. It's your fault. And it's not that. I gave him too much credit is what I did. Yeah, but I don't have a problem with that. It's not that that I'm challenging. I think I'm challenging...28:54 why you missed the logic that he's not well. I don't think any, I mean, I never think about any of my viewers or friends not being well. But the logic of it. Or stupid, or whatever. I don't know. I've come across people that way a lot, where I'm like,29:22 You had a big following. I'm sure you engaged with someone. Yeah, but I see red flags quickly. They blame me? I guess it was my fault? Yeah, we're running out of time, too. No, I'm not blaming you. No, it's not a blame. It's not a blame. I think you really...29:51 I think, okay, here's the difference between you and I. I think I got it. Is I never think someone is attacking me, even if they do. No, I think opposite. Right. And I think that it's usually with something within them.30:15 that I trigger something within them. Or... I never thought he was stupid until today. I mean, I'm not... And stupid isn't the right word. I think socially unaware, which is a real... We call it socially awkward, but it's socially... He's missing key cues. That's a real psychological profile.30:43 Oh, you mean the direct, don't do this and do it? And he does it? Right. And then when he does it, it should be a, oh, okay, well, thank you. It's been a lot of fun being your friend. And I took it as, he deliberately tried to hurt me again. Right. And he never did. What's the, I always do, what's the win? How do you see win from that? Well, he has plenty of time to think about it.31:12 You can't watch my videos anymore. All right. Listen, what we should do is a part two, a second video. All right. We'll do more because I didn't get to ask a lot of stuff. But I think there's really – there's something here that I want to say where it's how you see yourself.31:38 is actually the disconnect. Because I think your viewers probably see you in two ways, right? They either like you or don't. But there's more people that like you that don't. But I think the way you- Oh, by the way, the nice people never talk. Of course, it's always like that, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I think it's the way you see yourself, which is the part that I want to kind of drill down to next time.32:05 That's fine. I'll hold on to your questions. I will. I will. We'll go over them again. All right. It was good. It was good. I think because I, let me just briefly, because I still have seven minutes. I still, because I never, I don't see you as being, having a temper outside of the family. I think you're really kind of careful. I may be wrong, but I'm just saying that's how I see you. But I've always seen you as being really emotional, but32:34 Not in a bad way. Someone who cares, really cares. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you really connect. You connect and are affected by people. And it's funny, I don't even know where that came from. I don't know. I think you were like that even before you went to church.32:55 But I think, I don't know where that, I don't know where that, and I think there is something also, that's the first thing, and I'll write it down, is I think there was a, oh, remember when I said, when I called you and I said, I really didn't realize that when you were really, really young, we just didn't pay attention to you or we didn't include you, which was a bigger thing33:25 you could have read it as you weren't loved or didn't have value. And that was never the case. It was never the case. Like no one ever said, Oh, Jack's annoying. Like it was never, it was never, but that, and I didn't think about it because I mean, when you were like, as you got older, like even at junior high, nobody, but you still remember the really young,33:55 times really young like from kindergarten to like fourth fifth grade where you're like oh i really felt left out okay okay so for four or five years you felt left out anyway i mean it was like a big right it was like a big impact on you like it was four or five years like i don't know nowadays before we get shut off um i34:22 Literally, if there's a kid in the room that seems like he's not included in anything, I'm drawn to that kid. Yeah, that makes sense. I'll talk to, I don't know why. Probably because I was the kid in the room. Oh, God, Jack, that's genius. You think so? I put one and one together. That was great. I want to talk more about...34:47 why you think that had such a big impact when it was such a little time. And I don't know that you have it in your head as it was such a small moment in time, but it had huge impact. I'll think about it and then we can talk about it. All right. All right. I love you. Have a great day. Thank you. Do you call me bro? Yeah.35:13 Okay, that's not my brother. Yeah, but I know you never called me bro. Okay. Do you call me bro? I'll see you later. You've never called me dip crack either. What do I call you then? I don't know, bro. Have you called me bro before? Yeah. I called your bro this morning. He called us. Goodbye. Really?35:38 Okay, smudge on my computer screen. How about that? No, I've never. How do you smudge on my computer screen? I don't know. I'm just saying I don't ever remember you saying that. All right, say goodbye. We're going to get cut off. All right, I love you. All right, I'll save this. I'll save the files too. All right, bye. Bye.